Farmageddon: A Cattle Royale

Farmageddon: A Cattle Royale is a series of cow puns masquerading as a new kind of roguelite. Try to claim the divine pasture while picking up items along the way to improve your build! But be careful: every player's run is recorded, and you'll be playing against the ghosts of every run attempted in the same day, including your own! It was a normal day on a normal farm. The cows were grazing, the farmers farming, the Yak yakking. Suddenly, a divine creature floated down from the heavens. "I am the Provalone Prophet. The Milky Messiah. I am the holy cow." She bellowed."I come bearing a gift." With an otherworldly MOO, she turned a patch of grass to a sparkling shade of gold. "Once the farmers meet their end, to this pasture you must send, the biggest, strongest, toughest cow, that makes the others all say wow. On this cow I will bestow, a gift that all envy below." She declared. The cows didn't have much else going on. And so the game began.