In No Pineapple Left Behind, an evil wizard shows up to a school and turns all of the children into pineapples. Pineapples are very simple. All they do is take tests and get grades. If they get good grades, the school makes more money. But, if left unattended, pineapples can turn back into children. (Oh no!) Children are far more complex and expensive than pineapples. You are the principal. Your job is to run the school.