The Ditty of Carmeana

A medieval action/adventure video game that is NOT a legend. In this third-person action adventure, Kai will travel all over the ostensibly medieval kingdom of Bowtudgel (rhymes with "cow cudgel") in his quest to Rescue the Princess. Along the way, he will solve puzzles, make money, conquer a set dungeons that are one-to-one with the Kingdom's major biomes, help people (sort of), kill enemies (sort of), buy hats, and find future DLC sidequests that you know very well the game developers will never get around to making. Along the way, he'll discover that there might be something even bigger at stake than a missing princess.... Once upon a time, the King of Bowtudgel’s beautiful, redheaded, and obnoxiously thin daughter, Princess Carmeana, was kidnapped and held ransom. The King, not wanting to incur the expense of deploying the army to rescue her, decides instead to recruit a “fairy boy” to go on the Glorious Quest to Rescue the Princess. Meanwhile, in the Flyover Province of Borrington, there lived a poor farm boy named Kai (pronounced “Lance”). One day, as he was trudging back to town after his morning threshing, he encountered a fairy named Tabitha, and rescued her from another fairy who was trying to sell her Facebook IPO stock. Tabitha decided to tag along with Kai for awhile (it was the least she could do). As luck (or Destiny, depending on whether you believe Tabitha or Kai) would have it, they soon encountered a royal army recruiter who was looking for a fairy boy. Kai’s Glorious Quest to save the hot rich skinny redhead had begun.